TOP BEST 20 Teacher jokes
- What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause. - Why do geographers find mountains so funny?
Because they’re hill areas. - What pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B. - Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom. - Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th. - What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited! - What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer! - Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye” (RTI)? I teach reading, not art.
- Teacher: Craig, you know you can’t sleep in my class.
Craig: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. - Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.
- Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil: Life imprisonment! - Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you! - Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
- Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks. - Teacher: Why have you got cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in! - Kid comes home from first day at school. Mom asks, “What did you learn today?” Kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
- Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework. - There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind.”
Who’s that?
The bus driver. - What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations. - Teacher: You copied from Fred’s exam paper, didn’t you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred’s paper says “I don’t know” and you put, “Me neither!”
